morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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