singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
