I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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