WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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