honey bunches of taint.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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