swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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