i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
