It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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