we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize