Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
