Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
