You're completely useless in the revolution.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
