so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
