I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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