girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
