I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
