And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Even my vagina gasped.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
