Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
