you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
