I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
