I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize