Plan B is the new Plan A
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
