Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
