I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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