i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i've created a new STD.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
