things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
