I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize