Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
