Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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