As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
