Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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