Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
