would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
