It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
