You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
