Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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