I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
