No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
