apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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