How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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