Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
