even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You took a bar mat shot.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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