i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize