i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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