we made out on top of his cat.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
