no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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