capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
