Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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