they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
