Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
