loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
