fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
