I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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