I can tuck mytits in my pants
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
