wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
