how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
