Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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