that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize