I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
