my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
