I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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