A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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