Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
