i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
