His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
