Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
