I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was not drunk enough for that final.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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